Encouragement: Building Better Relationships- by encouraging one another.

A few days back, I was with a family who were gripped with fear of death. Last 2 years the parents in the family passed away and they were believers in the Lord Jesus. Some false pastors came and gave false prophecies that a serpent (devil) is after them and they also will die! Already they were filled with sorrow due to such a big loss and now these false prophets made them more depressed and filled with fear by their negative and irresponsible words.
This reminds me about how we deal with the people under pressure and in sorrow and struggling with problems?

Today many relationships appear to be failing. yet it is not the relationship but the people in it that fail! There are certain things that happen unwittingly, sometimes done by both parties. The way you encourage or criticize one another. The enemy of encouragement is criticism, the discourager. We need to remind ourselves that criticism changes no one and often becomes counter-productive. Too often, I think the tendency is to criticize something that we want changed. I think it’s important to remember that we must choose our words and actions carefully, because if we offer criticism that is harsh or unfounded, it may have the exact opposite effect from the one we desire.

When discouraged by criticism, I overeat and hold a pity party to which I invite no one but myself. A dangerous downward spiral of negative thinking begins with my telling myself, “I never do anything right. I’m ineffective in the Kingdom of God, and no one likes me.” Too often I allow one perceived failure or one critical remark to trigger depression. Criticism can be a very destructive force, whether it comes from ourselves or others (the need to encourage ourselves as well as others is an equally important point to be remembered too!). Why not focus on offering encouragement, which can be a great positive motivator?

Just as we want to criticize actions and not people, we want to praise actions and not people. I knew that you were supposed to criticize actions and not people, but it had never occurred to me that the same should hold true for praise and encouragement. Sometimes exaggerated compliments (”You are the nicest person in the world!”) are often dismissed or refused by the person we are complimenting. So it is better to praise the nice aspect of the person (”I appreciate your warm greeting and friendly smile.”).

Encouragement can be conveyed by our physical presence, practical help or in our spoken and written words. An encourager comforts, consoles, exhorts, takes another’s side, and helps. I think it’s important to remember that encouragement (and its flip side, criticism) can be expressed in non-verbal ways as well as the words we speak. Encouragement can be a hug, offered assistance, even a kind look.

The most significant revelation you may need to experienced as you read this is that you need to work on being more of an encourager for your family. It’s too easy to fall into a habit of criticism with those you live with (and especially those you are expected to discipline). Try making an effort to measure your words carefully and to look for opportunities to encourage the people around you.

" Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing." Proverbs 12:18 (NLT)

Be Encouraged

A.Othniel
(www.aothniel.net)